Hello you, I hope your doing well. Its been a while, too long some would say. I've tried to post a piece of writing for quite some time. Unfortunately many things stopped me, judgement and fear started the habit of leaving the blog alone.
Unwritten, yet the stories and words still there. That's all it was Habit!
Now I'm sure your thinking its very easy to break that cycle and its almost obvious. Just pick up a pen, get out the laptop and get on with it.
I honestly never had nothing to say or write and the ramblings of my mind could fill pages galore. The words were stuck. The judgement from people who didn't approve or understand my writing acted as a glue, holding my thoughts and words prisoner within.
Over the past two years I've honestly lost count of the people who ask me why I don't write or that they miss my rambling words of nonsense, but somehow and we are all the same with this. The voices of those who put us down, that don't agree with our honesty and openness screams louder above the love and support from people who care. Now don't get me wrong even tho its great having people who support me and understand why I started the blog. It was never my intention to seek or want the approval from anyone. I started it because it helped me and if I could help one person see that depression should not stop you living your life to the best you can then that's great, fantastic, job done. Honestly I lost sight of all that. I let the judgement looks from people if I was seen enjoying life get to me. They will never go away, unfortunately there will always be people that think if your depressed then slap on a frown, keep it there and don't dare let me see you happy! Well that's not entirely fair but the most infuriating thing with depression is if your having a good day, laughing and joking people will doubt you.
No joke, I was once asked why I imply to have depression when I always enjoy myself on nights out!! 😯😮 AAAGGGHH!! sorry Fanny-Ann* didn't realise I wasn't allowed to come outta my house and enjoy myself.
Like seriously, we all including myself need to give less a damn to what others think of us.. At the end of the day, we all judge people and that is never going to change. Everyone loves a good ole gossip or bitching session with your mates and that's fine! but do we really need to be rude and question why people decide to live their life the way they do. Like lets be serious, whose business is it that Jimmy* over the road wants to quit his job and travel the world? That's right not mine and definitely not yours either. Then there's that Patricia* one from town, who goes out every weekend gets drunk as a skunk and ends her night dancing on tables. You do You Tricia* Babes! you ain't hurting nobody, well maybe your liver and that definitely isn't my business so I need to shut my mouth.. If Annie* wants to write her blog again after loosing the power to get words on paper or screen. Well Annie* you do your thing!!
(*names have been changed for legal reasons 😎)
Be yourself, because everyone else is already taken and you can bet their all being judged too. So you may as well get judged for being yourself rather than someone else!! My my I got really into that there lovely wee rant on a Saturday morning.
Maybe your wondering how I've come to free the words and write this piece? Well that is a story for another day. But I will ask you this, would you believe me if I told you a curly haired fairy with purple clothes and floral boots has got me to this point with her magical words of wisdom. Could it be true? I hope to be back to share all, until then.
Stay Safe, Stay Healthy and Look After Your Sunshine
xO Annie I mean Leonie 😝
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