Looking for my sunshine x

Hello everyone

I hope your well? I may start with an introduction. My names Leonie, I have a loving husband, two beautiful daughters, a fantastic family and a great bunch of friends. Pretty perfect right? But I forgot to mention something I live with every day, Depression!

Yeah I said it and the wee rascal is always here, if it was a person I'd punch it in the face (or worse) but it's not so instead I'm trying to work with it best I can. I win some days and depression wins the rest.. But, I will win them all some day. 

If I'm honest I don't know what I'm hoping to gain from writing this, I just know when I write to my best friend a weight is lifted from me and if I gotta type it out to freedom, I will. I can't ever explain why I get sad, I have tried many times and mostly I just give up trying to explain, because mainly people don't get it unless they have some experience with it all you will hear is "oh shake it off" or "it's just a phase it'll pass" and "snap out of it". Well I have been in this 'phase' for a few years and it's still hanging on tight and I've been shaking it off and snapping away without any joy. 

 Basically what I'm trying to say is please be careful what you say to people if they open up to you, because after all that person felt they could confide in you. Only a handful of people know I live with depression and it has been great but has also backfired on me, I confided in someone only for them to them decide i wasn't suitable for friendship anymore. I'm still who I always was with just an extra piece of baggage. 

I'm no where near a professional writer or anyway trained in mental health topics, so not everyone will appreciate this post. But if my wee rant pages help at least one person to admit their struggles and seek the help they need then I'll be pleased. 

Stay safe, stay healthy and look after your sunshine!

xO Leonie